it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
