Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize