I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize