We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it glows. i had to have it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
