We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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