Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
