But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
