I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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