Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Too much gin, very little bucket
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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