I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
