I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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