He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
