2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize