I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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