Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
