If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
