plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
