I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
