But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize