You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
