I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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