I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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