He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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