do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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