oh god the rape fog is back!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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