and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
