so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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