If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize