I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
