It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize