Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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