What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
