i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
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What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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