so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
