she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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