Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
