you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
