oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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