There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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