she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
