Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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