Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
