so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
