I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
