i wish there were pregnant emoticons
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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