jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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