Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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