i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
