Kiss
Puke
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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