It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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