The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
