I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
