I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
