I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
last night I used snow as a chaser
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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