After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
