Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
