smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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