Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
