i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
