I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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