I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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