I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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