I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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