and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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